00:00
Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
00:09
I'm just going to come out and say, you have picked an extraordinary episode to listen to because today, one of the single greatest athletes the world has ever seen is here in our Boston studios to be your personal coach. And she's going to tell you from the very first word she speaks, you are not supposed to be average. You are built for excellence and extraordinary things.
00:33
Shellyann Frazier-Price is one of the greatest athletes of all time. 19 gold medals. She's also the oldest sprinter, man or woman, to win a 100-meter world championship.
00:46
Every time the world said, it can't be done, Shelley Ann Frazier-Price proved them wrong. And today, she is here to teach you how to stop negative thoughts, how to reset your mind for positive thinking. She will walk you through step-by-step her visualization practice so that you can start doing it immediately and become mentally tougher, more resilient, and more easily able to handle any challenge that life throws your way, accomplish your biggest goals, no matter how old or young you are.
01:19
And look, I understand you and I are not about to go run a race at the Olympics.
01:24
but you are standing at the edge of something. A new job, a new relationship, a new chapter, a comeback, a version of yourself you're scared to become.
01:36
A moment where you're wondering, do I still have what it takes?
01:42
Shellyann will convince you, you do have what it takes.
01:46
What you're about to learn is gonna help you turn your dreams into reality. I cannot wait for you to experience this.
01:59
Before we get started, I want to invite you to stick around a little later in the episode to hear a special segment sponsored by Verizon, because I'm going to share with you how to identify all those little overwhelming nagging stressors in your life. And I'm going to give you one simple strategy that is going to make you feel better right now. You're going to love this.
02:29
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am thrilled that you're here. It's always such an honor to be together and to spend this time with you, but especially today, holy cow, this episode is incredible. And if you're new or somebody sent you this episode, I just wanna personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. Today, you're gonna learn how to build an unstoppable mindset. Today's guest is someone I have wanted to sit down with because she has not just studied greatness, she has lived it and demonstrated it on a global scale.
03:02
Shelley Ann Frazier-Price is one of the greatest athletes the world has ever seen. 19 gold medals in track and field, including three at the Olympics and eight total Olympic medals, and 10 world championship gold medals. She has shattered people's beliefs about age, motherhood, because two of those world championships happened after giving birth to her son, Zion. And to put this into perspective, the last woman to accomplish that feat did it almost three decades ago.
03:35
And her last gold medal...
03:38
Shellyann happened to be the oldest man or woman ever to win the world championship title in the 100 meters, shattering people's belief about being too old to compete. Shellyann is so iconic and legendary. In case you don't know the world of track and field, I just want to put this in perspective. At the 2024 Paris Olympics, Nike honored two athletes by erecting statues of them at the Olympics to celebrate their dominance and iconic legacies. The first athlete was LeBron James.
04:10
The second, Shelly Ann Frazier-Price, who is here in our studios today in Boston for one reason. She's here to be your coach. So please help me welcome the extraordinary Shellyann Fraser-Price to the Mel Robbins podcast.
04:27
Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.
04:29
Thank you for saying yes. Thank you for traveling all this way. I am so excited to learn from you. You have this energy.
04:38
That is infectious.
04:41
I feel like I'm in a stadium of fans that are celebrating. You have an effervescence to you that is contagious.
04:54
Thank you.
04:54
Is that what makes you run so fast? Like I don't like I.
04:59
I wish. I wish it was so easy.
05:02
Well, I'm glad you're here because we're going to be talking a lot about mindset. And I have a feeling that you're also about to teach us a lot of wisdom about something deeper than mindset. Yeah, correct. And I'd love to start by having you speak directly to the person who's with us right now. and they may be feeling overwhelmed or full of self-doubt or feeling like they're too old or too young or worried about everybody else's opinion, if they take everything to heart that you're about to teach us from your remarkable life so far, what could there be that could change about their life?
05:44
Well, Mel, here's what I would say for me personally. Growing up in Kingston in Waterhouse, I had to decide. And I think that's the most important thing I would say to anyone that's listening is to decide. Is to say to yourself, I want to move from a place of average to a place of excellence. I've always been taught that I have to be and become extraordinary. And in order to be and become extraordinary, you have to decide in your mind, what is it that you're going to hold on to?
06:16
What is it that you're going to tell yourself? And you have to really commit to the positive and encouraging things that you tell yourself. Because that's the only way you're going to move from average to great. So that's what I would say. Decide who you want to be. Decide on just where you want to end up in the next 5, 10 years. And every morning that you get up, you decide to put one foot in front of the other and say, I'm going to be great. I'm going to be extraordinary. I'm going to be excellent. Because that's the only way.
06:47
The minute you change your mindset is the minute you start to
06:51
tap into that unfiltered raw truth strength boldness that we all carry okay my hair is already standing on end and as you're listening to shelly ann and she you're speaking with such a level of intention like you believe this yeah i do and you have to you have to but i can tell That it's about to go down in this conversation. The energy is crackly.
07:21
And I want to start by asking this question about the outside versus the inside, because people see all the medals, all the records. We not only see the confidence, you can feel it in your body in the way that you speak. But what's the part of your story that we do not see?
07:38
The part of the story no one sees is the BTS, the behind the scenes, the challenges. Sometimes it's the fear, the doubts. It's the things that we tell ourselves in the moments that will eventually stifle us. And I think for me, I've had to overcome those moments. I've had to really... sit in those moments and say to myself, well, this is not the end. This is not it. I have more to give. And I had to talk to myself. I had to sacrifice because I think growing up in Waterhouse, dreaming is a luxury.
08:11
Because we don't get to dream often when we're in an environment that seems stifling. It seems, you know, just there's no way out. So dreaming becomes a luxury. So now you're in this moment where you're saying, OK, then you're chasing medals, you're chasing records, you're chasing growth, you're chasing excellence. But the behind the scenes that people are not seeing is the struggle that sometimes you have with your mind because we all have that. People think that the champion mindset is just winning. It's not just winning. It's sticking to your purpose.
08:42
It's really trusting the promise that you have already made to yourself and go for it. So it's the moment I have to wake up at 5 a.m. to get to practice. It's the moment I have to sacrifice not going out because I'm chasing something big. I'm chasing impact. I'm chasing success. that young girl who is in Waterhouse who felt like there is no way out. I'm teaching the young girls in my community to understand that excellence does not just belong to me, it belongs to them. And it's important for them to understand those things.
09:14
So when I sit with myself behind the scene, it's the motivation for my husband. It's my son. It's the moment when I feel, okay, then the doubts are coming in and I have to really say to myself, come on, you can do it. Get out of it. Get out of it. One foot in front of the other. Keep going. It's the injuries that we have to overcome as athletes and as individuals. Because I think a lot of persons don't know that injuries don't just happen to athletes. It happens to everyday individuals. And you have to channel it. that intention in your mind to say, I can overcome.
09:47
I've been there. It's the limitation that we tell ourselves when people say to ourselves, say to us, oh, you're too old or you're too young or, you know, you've had enough, no more. It's those things that you're battling with behind the scenes. So when someone see you step into the line, you have already conquered so many things behind the scenes. So when we step to the line, to compete for a presentation, when we step to the line for, you know, a big job or a presentation or whatever it is, understand that the persons who are standing there would have had to overcome so many things to get there.
10:25
Okay. You just said so many things that are wise and tactical. So I want to stop and hover here for a second. Dreaming is a luxury.
10:36
Yeah. Yeah.
10:38
What would you say to the person right now who's listening who says, I feel like I can't even dream right now? that I can't imagine something that's possible. You talked about how you really want to be an example to the young girls that have big dreams, that have a sense of purpose, but maybe the world is telling them, oh, well, that's impossible. That's unrealistic. Somebody like you doesn't do something like that. What would you say to the person that's so just head down that they haven't even thought about the dream that's a luxury?
11:13
Yeah. It's also a necessity, I think.
11:15
It is. I think what I will say is stop asking, can I?
11:21
Stop asking for permission to be great. Stop asking people who have no idea what's going on or what dreams you're trying to chase or where you're coming from or where you're heading. You have to start paying attention and listening to your own voice. That's the only voice that's important, your voice, because your voice is the most important voice in the room. That's the relationship you want to focus on, the relationship with your voice. The minute you change that relationship, you start to understand that, okay, this is what Shelly wants.
11:57
This is what...
11:59
Mel wants, and this is what you're going to chase. Stop focusing on the voices that are external. Those are just white noise. They're not important, right? Because they don't understand what it is to be in the moment chasing something that's great, chasing something that you want, that you have committed to, that you have decided to. A champion mindset doesn't mean that you're not going to fail. Failure is a part of success, right? So you have to count on yourself, channel the energy in the voice that is your own, and focus on that voice whenever you step into a room.
12:37
It's your voice that is important.
12:40
I've heard you say that, especially in reflecting about your career.
12:45
Can you unpack the power of that statement, a lot can change in a year?
12:51
One year of being intentional got me an Olympic gold medal. Just one year. Just one year. Just one year. Because what you did in that year is you changed your outlook. You changed your approach. So a lot can happen in a year. I've seen athletes like myself go from being nobody to... to an extraordinary athlete. In 2007, I was at the World Championship in Osaka as a reserve. What does that mean?
13:22
A reserve means I came sixth. I would be called upon if somebody got hurt or somebody didn't want to run. That's the only time they would call on me. I wasn't the number one, the number two, the number three, or the number four.
13:35
I was number sixth. It means there are four persons that run on a relay. I was sixth.
13:43
So the chances of me running in that relay were slim.
13:48
A year after being in Osaka, the next year I was Olympic champion.
13:56
So it's not just for me where one year I went from being sixth to being first. It belongs to you as well.
14:06
So if you change your mindset, your outlook, and you say to yourself, okay, you have to recognize the power of consistency. Because I think that's what changed the approach for me. I became consistent at the small things. I said, okay, I'm going back to training. I'm going to make sure that I show up at 5 a.m. because practice is at 5 a.m. I wasn't there at 5.30. I was there in the cold because I refuse. I refuse to lose.
14:38
And you have to, that's the mindset. You have to refuse to lose. Somebody will need to drag you off the field. And I'm not just talking about the track. I'm talking in life. Somebody has to pull you out. They have to call the announcer and say, oh, take her out. But until then, you're staying in. So I've seen athletes take one year and that year they became, they were humbled in a year because they didn't put the work in. they change their approach. So when I say a lot can happen in a year, it's the mindset that you become consistent at what you do and you work towards it because you now have a one whole year to decide what you're doing, decide how you show up each morning, put one foot in front of each other and then you go and you keep going and you're going.
15:26
Because for me, There is time. A lot of persons say, oh, you have all the time in the world and you think one year for the person who is chasing mediocrity, one year is small. For the person who is chasing greatness, one year is a lot. You have a lot of time. And if you have that time, you make it count.
15:48
So I want to put you in that moment in 2007. Yes. Because even though most of us will never be a reserve on a team like that, right? We're going to be in the stands watching you. There is an experience that I think we all have in life where you find yourself in a situation where you are really close to the thing that you want, but you're kind of on the outside of it.
16:13
And I'll share a quick story. My daughter is a singer-songwriter, and she was invited to a record release kind of performance by an artist she really loves. And she walked into the room, and it was incredible.
16:30
But when she left, she had this feeling of saying, I want to be doing that. I want to be known in a room like that. Yes. And those moments where you get close to the thing that you want, you're number six, you want to be number one, right? I think those moments really define you because you either collapse and say, it's never going to be me. Or you rise. Yes. Or you rise and say, it is painful to want something and not work for it.
17:03
And it's painful to work for it and not get it, but I'm going to go for it. And so what changed for you as you were number six?
17:14
And I take it nobody got injured. No. And so you stayed at number six.
17:18
I actually ran. You did? I did. So let me tell you the story, Mel. I have to tell you the story. So in 2007, when I went to Osaka and I made the relay squad for Team Jamaica, my real intention of going to Osaka was just to be there.
17:35
small-minded at that time my thinking was very small my dreams were small my confidence small so I get there and they're you know having all this fit about who runs or who doesn't run and I'm like I hope they don't call on me Because for me, the weight of the moment was so big. And mentally, I think I wasn't prepared for a moment like this. So I was just there for just being there. And I remember the coach calling and said, oh, you're running.
18:06
And I'm like, I'm running? And he goes, yes, you're running. I cried because I didn't want to be responsible for any mishap in a relay. A relay depends on three other persons to take the baton home. I didn't want to be responsible for that. So I cried. And I remember I carried the baton home first in the heat, but I didn't run the finals. But you know what changed for me? What? I wanted to be responsible for my own win.
18:38
That change. I was responsible for three other people.
18:42
And I was in awe of the moment. I was crippled in that moment. And I said to myself, I want to stand on the line and anything that I lose, it's mine to lose. Anything that I win, it's mine to win. And I want to own it with my entire being. And I went home from Osaka and I changed the way I ate.
19:04
I started going gym. I became disciplined because I wanted to feel like I had the power and nobody else had that to choose. Because here I was in that moment running a four by one and they were debating if I should run or if I shouldn't or if I was going to drop the baton, if I was going to be good, whatever. But in that moment, I wanted to make that decision for me.
19:29
I wanted to make that decision when I stand at the line and I'm competing. If I win, it's for me. If I lose, it's for me. And those things are very important because nobody gets to take them away from you. Nobody. Oh.
19:45
Let's just let that sit for a minute. Because...
19:49
A lot can change in a year.
19:51
A lot can change in a year. What changed? The mindset changed. And then what happened? I won.
19:58
Yeah. That's so real. Like, I left...
20:02
going to a world championship, thinking I wasn't worthy of being in that moment, to going to the Olympic Games a year later and being happy and content and knowing that I had the power to win. Even though when I got there, my dream was so small because I just wanted to make the finals. That was your dream for the Olympics. You're like, okay, I'm going to make the finals. Yeah. I'm going to make the finals. And that was my dream going into the Olympics.
20:33
I was going to make the finals. And I remember, and this is why it's important, that the things that you say to yourself are good things. Be kind to yourself. When you talk to yourself, your energy should exude positive. It should be strength. It should be powerful. And I remember sitting in the room and I said to one of my teammates, if I win, I am going to do this. I'm going to jump. I'm going to scream. That was me already setting the stage for what's to come.
21:08
So when I got there and I went to the line, I was happy to be there. That's an outlook that changed in a year because this was a woman who didn't want to run.
21:21
The year before, to a woman who was happy to be in that moment because I prepared for that moment. So when I say a lot can change in a year, I didn't go into that moment unprepared. I was prepared for everything and anyone else. And I got to the line and I was happy. I was smiling. I was content because I was about to run the race of my life. And I knew it. My body knew it. My mind knew it. Like I heard nobody else in that moment. And I got to that line. It was me against nobody.
21:53
Because if you want it, you'll have to beat me for it.
21:56
And I remember going to the line and the exact same thing I told myself a couple of days before I ran that finals is the exact same thing I did after the finals. What did you say? I jumped. I screamed. I thumped. I did so many things. I was on the floor.
22:13
I couldn't contain myself.
22:17
Well, I can't contain myself because I've never seen one of these in person. You brought, because we asked you to, your medal.
22:27
Yeah, that's my medal in 2008. I became the first Caribbean woman. To win an Olympic gold medal in 100 meters. Holy smokes. This thing's heavy. Is it solid gold?
22:41
I hope so.
22:42
Wow. It's my retirement plan.
22:46
This is incredible. What is that moment like?
22:50
Does time slow down?
22:52
This thing is really heavy. It is. I think that moment for me, Mel, was a moment that it told me that it didn't matter where you come from or how you start.
23:05
It matters how you finish. It matters how you show up. Because here's a young girl who is from an inner city, a single parent, one room with two brothers and my mom.
23:19
And it was hard to dream. It was hard to see beyond, you know, your current circumstances, the environment that you're in was hard to see beyond that.
23:29
And when I crossed that line, it was not just a win for me. It was a win for a community. a community of girls who never thought they would see an Olympic champion coming from their community. It was a win for my mom who had me when she was 17. It was a win for my grandma who prayed for me the day I left to go to college because I wasn't supposed to go to that college. I was supposed to go overseas for school. And my grandmother, when I said to her, I remember saying to her, hey, I'm going to stay in Jamaica and I'm going to go to school at UTEC.
24:07
And she said, go. That was her only words, go. And I went. So for me, crossing that moment, it was a win, a huge win for me understanding that confidence, dreaming, and believing what you dream.
24:26
It's very important. It's understanding that there's nothing wrong with fear, right? Nothing is wrong with it, but we show up in spite of. So that's what that moment was for me.
24:37
Wow. What do you want the person listening to know if they're telling themselves that it's too late or the dream is too big or it's too impossible for them now?
24:53
I think what I'll say to you guys listening is time will honor your greatness. Time. That's all you need. Time.
25:03
For a lot of persons, they look at the clock and they think, I don't have enough time. But for the persons who is chasing excellence and chasing growth, it's never too late when you look at the clock. It's never too late. I became the oldest world champion at 35 years old. When person said, oh, she's too old. She needs to wrap it up.
25:24
I became a mom and I won a world championship two years after having my son.
25:31
Time will honor your greatness. I won my first gold medal in 2008 when persons thought I was too young or I was too inexperienced and I needed to give my spot to somebody else. So when I say all of that, I say time. You have time. You have to show up. Disregard the negative things that you have said in your darkest moments to yourself. You need to get that out. Stop listening to the people who have never been in your shoe.
26:02
You have to start listening to your voice and decide which voice is more important. Theirs are yours and it has to be yours. Your voice is the most important voice in any room. So you have to understand that whatever it is that you're chasing, time will honor your greatness. It's never too late. In fact... You still have so much more that is inside, untapped, that's ready to go out. But you are listening to the persons who are at the ceiling of their imagination, not yours.
26:37
I'm dead.
26:38
Like, I'm literally like, okay, we're done here.
26:43
I can't even... Amazing. You're like channeling something.
26:47
It's true. You are. There is like a...
26:51
transmission coming through you. Yeah. Is it true? It's true. I can tell.
26:56
Yeah.
26:56
I can tell in the way that you are speaking.
27:01
Yeah.
27:02
Straight from the heart and with almost like that, if you're not going to listen to yourself, you better listen to me.
27:11
Yeah.
27:11
Like borrow Shelley's belief in you until you believe in you.
27:16
That's true.
27:18
You know, what's important also is The only dream that hasn't been met is the one that you haven't started.
27:30
Say that again.
27:32
The only dream that hasn't been met is the one you haven't started. So once you have a dream, start it.
27:41
You have all the time in the world. Start it.
27:44
Don't go to bed thinking, all right, I'm tired. It's not going to happen. Go to bed thinking it's going to happen. No one can stop me. I'm going to wake up in the morning. I'm going to all those thoughts because we've all been there in our darkest moments. We have told ourselves things that are not true.
28:05
In our darkest moments, we have listened to people who have said things about us who have no idea who you are. Like, how do you allow people who don't know who you are, who don't know your gifts, your talents, who don't know what you're chasing and what untapped abilities you have, how can you allow them to determine your future. You can't, right?
28:34
The only finish line that you have never crossed is the one you never walked up to.
28:41
So whatever finish line it is or anything that you're chasing, walk up to it.
28:46
You know, it's interesting, the finish line metaphor, because that's how you know the race you're running isn't over. You know, yeah. You haven't crossed the finish line yet.
28:54
You haven't crossed the finish line, so it's not over. And my coach always said, I remember my coach said, you cross the finish line, you get another chance.
29:05
What does that mean?
29:06
I've always gone to meets and I crossed the finish line and I didn't win. And I thought, man, this is the end of the world. And my coach was like, no, it's another day.
29:18
You get another opportunity. So nothing is wrong with showing up and losing. You showed up and your approach the next time will be different. That's the power of getting to the line and finishing. Because now you have something tangible to look at and evaluate and say, okay, let me change my approach. It's just like traffic we take.
29:44
go to school in the morning and we drive around one route and realize, okay, I spent 20 minutes in traffic. The next day, you have knowledge now, so you change your approach.
29:56
Just like you did in 2007 when you said, I'm going to change my approach. I got to get consistent. I got to train harder. I got to change the way I'm approaching this.
30:07
Visualization is something that you use in your training. How do you use it and how can the person listening apply that same strategy to their life?
30:18
So Mel, I give you, on a Friday, when we train, we actually train our minds on a Friday. We call it mental training. Because before you can achieve anything, you have to see it in your mind first. You have to feel it. And visualization is you putting yourself in a winning position before you have won. Mm-hmm. That's what visualization is. Visualization is you seeing yourself doing it, not perfectly, but powerfully.
30:55
That's what visualization is. So when I use visualization, it's important for me to even smell the atmosphere. Okay. Feel it because sometimes our mind can't distinguish between what reality is and what's real. We can't, right? We can't figure out what's real or what's fake when it comes to our mind because our mind is that powerful. So it is up to you to train your mind to see the things that you want to achieve. So when I get to the line, I have run that race many times before I get to that line.
31:31
And I'm not talking about the day before the race. I'm talking months before the race. Every time I have an alone time, I'm visualizing. I get to the line. I hear the starter. I listen to the cues. Do you hear the ch-ch-ch of like all the people putting their feet in the blocks? I'm going to tell you this. When I'm at the line, I hear nobody.
31:53
Nobody, because I'm not listening to them. The only person I'm listening for is the instruction of the starter. When the starter says on your mark, on your mark is something that I've already visualized. So my body knows when the starter says on your mark, it's go time.
32:15
My body knows when I get to the line, I've already seen myself in the block. I see myself crossing the line. I see myself with each step that I take. I feel it because I've already seen it. So you have to use visualization as a map. It's one of those maps that you have in your mind. Okay, I'm going to point B. So in order to get to point B, I have to make sure that I'm successful at A. At A, right? So you're seeing it.
32:46
You're going to that presentation. You want to feel it. You want to see it. Visualization exists long before the vision board. Long before it. It's a small step. Visualization is something that you don't have to pay for. You don't need money for it. You don't need no paper. You don't need no pen. You need nothing. You just need to sit with yourself and and see it, that presentation, that hard conversation, that relationship that you probably need to end, that friendship that you need to walk away from and you don't know how to do it, do it in your mind first.
33:20
It becomes easier after.
33:22
I want to make sure you really heard what she said, that Fridays...
33:27
It's not running day. It's not running day. Friday, we are training a different muscle as a world champion. You're training your mind. And what I also love that you pointed out is this is free. It's free. Yeah, it is.
33:40
And you're built to do it. You're built to do it. We all have the power to visualize. So use it, right? Because one thing I know about visualization is visualization is preparation.
33:54
It's me preparing for the moment.
33:57
If I get to the line and I have not even thought about running the race, then what purpose does that serve, right? If you're going for the presentation and you're trying to get the promotion, if you haven't seen yourself in that position, what sense does it make? You have to see yourself that big job. You have to see yourself in it.
34:22
You have to see yourself walking away like...
34:25
In your head, you're going like, all right, yeah, girl, you have this. You got this. So when you have prepared, because that's what visualization is, it's a preparedness. You have prepared. So I've seen the race over and over and over, and I run it over and over and over in my mind. So when I get to the line, it's just go time. It's work time. It's eat time. It's time to eat.
34:47
That's what happens in that moment because your body's already prepared. Yes. Your body knows what we're up against. Yes.
34:55
I remember there's once I went to a mental training on a Friday and it was hard at first. And visualization is practice because it doesn't come easy the first time because I'm sitting there in the mental training and my coach is like, close your eyes, see yourself in the stadium. And I'm at KFC.
35:17
And sometimes I'm drifting to the beach somewhere somewhere. And I have to find a cue to pull you back. You always should have a cue. What's your cue? My cue is always saying to myself that greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. Say that again. Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. There is no fear in love because perfect love casts out fear. Because with what you love, you cannot fear fear. And I love to run.
35:47
I love to win. So I don't fear it. Instead, I get to the line. I'm confident and I'm ready because I've seen it. This is my moment. This is my passion. Sometimes your promises that you have, that's your purpose. Your purpose is the promises that you have already set for yourself. So when I get there, I've already prepared to be in that moment. So when I stand at the line and I feel like, okay, I'm drifting because now I'm focusing on who's beside me. I'm focusing on the crowd. What's the crowd going to do?
36:18
They can't help me.
36:20
What's the next person they also want to win? So I'm not helping you win. I'm helping me win. Oh, I love that.
36:26
When you focus on them, you're helping them win. You're helping them win. I don't want them to win. Can we unpack that for a minute? Because so many of us are focused on what everybody else is doing. And when you do that, you're helping them win. You are helping them win. You're not helping yourself win.
36:41
Because I'm telling you, they are probably focused on you and you're giving your power to them. Like I'm giving you no power. When I get to the line, I'm an assassin.
36:53
I'm there to win. And it means mentally I'm there to win as well. So when I get to the line, I'm not concerned who is in lane five or six or seven or eight or one or two.
37:06
The reality is I, which is the I, in that moment, the I become selfish. It's about you and how you show up to win. If I'm there carrying somebody else's baggage, how am I getting to the plane?
37:21
The plane is going to leave you.
37:23
So, yeah.
37:25
Don't focus on who is to the left or to the right because you're not going to the left and you're not going to the right. You're going forward.
37:33
Forward. Because that's the only way you win. I've never seen anybody win going backwards. I've never seen it. If it happens, let me know. But I've never seen it.
37:43
Thank you so much for saying that, Shellyann. And I have so much more that I want to ask you because you are on fire. I don't want to slow you down at all. But right now, I need to take a quick pause to give our wonderful sponsors a moment to shine. But I want you to stay with us because coming up, Shellyann's going to talk about why she doesn't rely on motivation and what she relies on instead. Shellyann has so much more to teach you. And trust me, we are just getting started. So don't go anywhere. We're going to be right back.
38:22
Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins, and today you are getting coached by the extraordinary Shellyann Fraser-Price, and she's teaching you how to build an unstoppable mindset. Shellyann, my next question is this. How do you use somebody that is ahead of you? To help you become a better competitor or a better mom or a better this. Because I do think that there are those times, and this kind of goes back to when you were number six. And then you got asked to be part of the team. And then you had the realization that, wait, I want to win or lose for me.
38:55
I want to stand on my own here.
38:58
If I'm not paying attention to this person, I'm not paying attention to that person, but I keep seeing somebody else out in the world doing something in a way that kind of makes me jealous, kind of pisses me off, and also kind of inspires me. How do you use somebody else's example to In the right way to activate your own ability to perform potentially past them.
39:25
You know what I'm saying? I understand exactly what you're saying. And that's good because guess what? Every single person there is in this lifetime have learned something from somebody, whether they're a winner or they're not. The champion uses every experience to gain an advantage. That's just the reality. In Jamaica, there's a saying that when somebody feeds you meat or chicken, you eat the meat, you leave the bone.
39:53
The bone is not going to help you. The meat is where the substance is. So if that person that's in front of you that you think, I want to emulate that person, there's something that she has that I want, Take the meat, leave the bone. Whatever it is that she has that benefits you and you think you can use it, use it. For a lot of us, we are in a shell where there's somebody that we're either jealous of or somebody that, you know, some people would say, well, I hate this person.
40:24
But guess what? That person that you're jealous of or probably the person that you hate, there's something that they have that you want. So instead of hating for no reason, Take the things that they have that are going to help you to get to your destiny sooner than later.
40:45
So your friend, Usain Bolt, said that when he looks at your career and the fact that you have been so great for so long that you make him feel like an underachiever, What can the person listening learn from you about holding yourself to such a high standard, especially on those days when you don't feel like it? Here's what I'll say.
41:16
Motivation can change. Standards don't. Oh, motivation can change. But standards don't. Because standard is who you are. It's what you have. Because sometimes your motivation will change.
41:29
You know, what motivates you today may not be the thing that motivates you tomorrow, but your standards are who you are.
41:37
It's everything.
41:39
Who I am is not determined by how I feel on any given day.
41:44
Right? So for me, that's your standard.
41:48
You have to make sure that You hold your standards on days when it's hard because you know you're building something unbreakable.
42:00
That's what your standard. And Usain, if Usain says that, you know.
42:05
Usain is great in his own way, right? But for me personally, it's my standards that gives me longevity. It's the things that I hold dear to me, the things that I'm chasing and I want to achieve. And I know I have it.
42:20
So I understand that on a daily basis, your motivation can change because some of us are motivated by probably somebody who wronged us. And what if you move that person out of the way? What motivates you then?
42:37
You can't have your motivation be tied to a person.
42:43
Because that person, for whatever it were, can leave. They can change. They go somewhere else. So you have to have your standards. Some days I go to training. I don't want to train.
42:58
There's no motivation. But you know what I have? Standards. High standards. So every time I get to training, I remember the standards that I have. My standards are excellence. I want excellence. How does one achieve excellence? Consistency.
43:14
show up in spite of.
43:16
How does one have standards?
43:20
They move from a place of fear to boldness.
43:25
Discipline is a resident.
43:27
Right.
43:29
It is. No, it's not. It's there.
43:32
It resides there. That's what discipline is. That's the standard.
43:36
Motivation comes and goes.
43:40
It sure does. Comes and goes. You know, I'm wondering because it's so inspiring to listen to you. And. There's such a rhythm and truth there. to everything that you're sharing. And it's easy, especially, and even if you're in a place where you're just feeling a little beaten down and stuck. And as I'm listening, I'm like, yes, standards. Yes, excellence. Yes, I'm with you. And then I go, wait a minute, what are my standards? What does excellence mean in my life? And I'd be curious if somebody is feeling really knocked down.
44:15
And I have a lot of friends that I've heard them say over the years, I don't even know who I am anymore.
44:21
Do you have any recommendation for how you could set a standard for yourself today that will pull you toward excellence? Like, is there something that if you had to recommend, okay, if you don't know what your standards are, if you feel like life has kicked you down, one way to develop standards for yourself? Because if you don't stand for something, you stand for nothing.
44:44
Nothing at all.
44:46
But is there something that you could give the person that's listening? Like, this is where I would start if I were starting over and thinking about my own standards.
44:54
Yeah, I would say small steps.
44:58
Small steps, it doesn't have to be big. Everybody has to start with small intentional steps. The smaller steps you make, the more you can go to the bigger steps eventually because you're not rushing into it. Because for a lot of us, finding our standards take time because we have, I can tell you this, we have history where because we...
45:24
have done things a particular way for years, trying to erode those things takes time.
45:30
Right. It takes time to get rid of the bad habits.
45:34
So I would say start with the small things. If it is getting up early in the morning and making your bed, then that's the standard. I'm going to get up in the morning. I'm going to make my bed. I'm going to have some coffee. I'm going to visualize for 20 minutes. And that's how you start with your standards. Right. You write that down. And then who knows a week from that, you add something else to it. And that becomes a routine. And when you have your routine, your routine becomes consistent.
46:07
So you're consistent with your routines and you're consistent with your standard. So small steps. It doesn't have to be big. It has to be yours. It can't be anybody else's. It has to be yours. So I don't want my standards for you. Sure, you can use them.
46:25
You can use me.
46:27
I'm going to eat the meat, but not the bone. See, I'm listening.
46:29
You're eating the meat, but you're not. You're leaving the bone. And you apply that to your life. And you say, okay, these are my standards. And I can say this. Your standards are yours. You can't allow anyone else to make you think that something is wrong with yours. There's nothing wrong because guess what? Yours work for you.
46:51
Mine works for me.
46:52
But it's intentional steps that you take daily and you start small. It doesn't have to be that big, grand, okay, I'm going to get up. It's almost like the New Year resolution. I'm not a big fan of the New Year resolution, right? I'm being honest. Because I think sometimes I make those because everybody else is making them. And it doesn't work for me because by the time the 2nd of January comes, I remember nothing.
47:19
So you have to make or tailor your standards to you, to your day-to-day, to what you can start with, and then you move from there.
47:28
Shellyann, hold that thought. I realize you can't really tell a sprinter to slow down, but I need to take a pause so we can hear from our amazing sponsors. And if you know someone who's under pressure right now or doubting whether they still have what it takes, it could be a family member, a friend, a coworker, copy the link to this episode and text it to them. You don't need to send a long message, just hit share. Because coming up, Shellyann is going to teach you how she deals with pressure and give you a simple mindset change that will forever alter the way that you and the people that you love deal with the challenges that life throws at you.
48:06
And I promise you, it's going to be exactly what you need to hear right now. So don't go anywhere. More from Shellyann when we return. So stay with me.
48:24
Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins. And today you and I are getting a coaching session from the extraordinary Shelly Ann Frazier-Price. And she's teaching you and me how to build an unstoppable mindset. So Shelly Ann, the next thing I want to talk to you about is... You know, one of the things that I think we've all seen and some of us have experienced is how easy it is to let your failures block you, whether it's a failed relationship or a failed dream that you tried or maybe you failed at the career or job that you really went for.
48:57
What has losing and failure taught you that winning never could?
49:04
Mel, in my years of competing, I like to consider myself an expert at track. And I'm an expert at losing because I lost a lot. But failure introduces us to a part of ourselves that we didn't know was there. The part that we need to grow. The part that we need to approach different. Failure introduces us to things that winning... couldn't show us. Because when you win, you think you have it all figured out.
49:35
You think, all right, I won. I don't need to change anything. I'm good. But failure can introduce it to a part that you realize that, okay, then my success didn't show me that.
49:50
But my failure taught me that, hey, girl, we need to work at this a little bit more.
49:55
There's another approach. We can try another way. We can go through this gate and we'll end up at the same place.
50:01
That's what failure does. For me, some of my greatest wins came after a loss.
50:09
Really? Yes.
50:11
Some of my greatest wins came after a loss. Remember, I came sixth at the national championship in Jamaica.
50:19
And I went back home and I worked hard and I came back.
50:23
In 2016, 2016, I had a sesamoiditis.
50:30
You had a who? What is that? So there are two small bones.
50:34
That sounds terrible. Sesamoiditis?
50:37
What is that? There's two small bones under your great toe that's responsible. Under your toe? Under your big toe or your great toe. That's responsible for balance. Oh, no. Right. What happened? So that's where when you're in the blocks or you're running, that becomes the planting that's responsible for the power that you generate. That's a very important little bone. A very important little bone.
51:02
And I fractured it. And I couldn't put my foot in my spike. What? Like, I was in tears. This is 2016 Olympic Games. I was chasing becoming the first woman to win three Olympic Games back to back.
51:21
No. No.
51:23
I did not know who I was in that moment because it was so hard. Because at that point, I won 2008, 2009, 2012, 2013, 2015. And here my face with 2016.
51:41
And I'm saying to myself, how do I navigate this space? I didn't know how. I couldn't put my foot in my shoe. I couldn't do anything in practice. I was out of practice for a while. But you know what I did? I found another way.
51:58
I said, OK, then it's not going to work the normal way that I did it, but I'll find another way. And I know how to train my mind more in that moment. And I got to that 2016 World Olympic Games in Rio. I came third.
52:17
I came third. So I didn't become the first woman to win an Olympic, three Olympic medals back to back.
52:23
Well, you want one. Are you talking gold? Yeah, but gold. Okay. I got the bronze medal. Okay. Well, I'd be happy with the bronze, I think. But can we talk? What was the other way? Like, what did you do? Did you learn how to press on the four other toes and, like, lift up the big toe?
52:38
What'd you do? I had to makeshift putting my toe in my spike. I had to put cushion in there. And then I realized it wasn't going to work. So it means I had to train today, not train the next day.
52:51
Miss a week. And I had to focus on the things that I could, like going into the gym. I could lift heavier, go to the pool, did work in the pool, go to my rehab, did my rehab. Because here's what, failure tells you how.
53:09
Failure tells you how. Yeah, because when you fail, you realize, okay, then the next thing is, you know how you're going to do the next thing.
53:20
It tells you how. So you have to don't look at failure as separate. It's not the opposite of success. It's not. It's actually a part of it.
53:34
Failure is a part of success.
53:37
You can't look at it as separate because in reality, a lot of persons, I never quit.
53:44
I didn't quit. I lost, but I didn't quit. I failed, but I didn't quit.
53:48
The persons who lost are the ones who quit after a failure. I didn't quit.
53:57
I went back to the drawing board and I came back. In 2017, I had my son. In 2019, I won the world championship in Doha. And in 2022, I won the world championship in Oregon.
54:13
In 2022, I became...
54:17
The third fastest woman in the world. At 2022, I ran 10 sixes six or seven times in a season. In 2022, I won the Laureus Award. In 2022, I won. So look at failure as a part of success. Has to be a part of it because guess what? I didn't quit.
54:37
Here's what I love about what you're just explaining to us.
54:42
It's now seems so obvious now that you've explained your relationship to failure and the fact that because you didn't quit and you recognize failure shows you how, how you need to change in order to continue forward.
55:01
Like failure is actually a sign for how not to quit. It's a pivot, right? It's a pivot. You change the approach. You adjust. You come back again. Yes.
55:11
Or you don't quit. Well, you know, it's interesting because I often say to myself, the things that made me successful in 2024 will not make me successful in 2025. Go ahead.
55:28
that often the way to win the race that you're playing or the way to stay in the race that you're playing is to recognize when the old way you were doing things, whether it's how you trained or your attitude or whatever it may be, isn't going to work moving forward.
55:43
Not going to work going forward because that's what failure really does. It says, okay, that approach that you tried, it didn't work. Can we try something else? Can we try a new approach? Because... That's what you do when you lose and you go back to the drawing board. If you listen to all the speeches or after interviews when a champion loses and they get this like, oh, I need to go back to the drawing board. I've never heard them say I quit.
56:15
They never say that. They say, you know what? We have to just go back to the drawing board. I have to talk to my coach. I have to go look back at the videos to kind of see where I went wrong. Yes, because the failure and the wrong is the how you're going to move forward. It's how you're going to move forward.
56:33
And you not only move forward— I've got another heavy freaking metal. Talk to me about this one. This is a big gold metal for the hundred meters. And this one's really important to you. Yeah, it is from 2019. Why is this the metal that you care about the most?
56:51
2019 in Doha, after I had my son, I remember when I got pregnant in 2017, I was scared. I was nervous. And here's why I was scared and I was nervous. Because here comes those little critics that think they know everything.
57:08
That comes and they tell you, oh, having a baby will just ruin your career.
57:15
Oh, having a baby is not good for a woman in the sport right now. Oh, having a baby and you're just going to be turning 30. I think you should pack it up.
57:25
But having my son deepened my purpose, right? My son changed my outlook because I understood in that moment that my son didn't need me to sacrifice my career. He didn't need me to do that.
57:45
Instead, he needs to see me chasing my dreams so he knows he has the permission to chase his. So when I got to the World Championship in 2019, I was a mom.
57:59
of a beautiful two-year-old boy. Can you put into context for the person who's listening who may not really know the world of elite track and field, just like how many other global champions have dominated globally after having a baby? How many women? Probably two women. And you're one of them.
58:23
And I'm one of them. Probably two or three.
58:26
So it is typically the norm that once you become a mom, your track and field career, at least sprinting at this world-renowned level, it's basically hang the shoes up.
58:38
It becomes difficult.
58:40
And so it was important for me to continue because I knew that the impact that this would have and just what it would mean for the sport in general was incredible. Well, not just for the sport, but for me, because this is me now understanding that as women, we have to learn to evolve differently. And there's always a conversation about our age. There's always a conversation about us having kids.
59:12
There's always a conversation. See, she's too old. She's a mom.
59:17
There's always a conversation. But your conversation is not my reality. So when I went to the 2019 World Championship, I was...
59:29
Because I knew the world was depending on me showing them that motherhood didn't diminish me as an athlete or as a woman, but instead it elevated me. Because, no, I stood at the line and I knew I was championing a cause for that woman who is probably beside me who wants to have a child but is afraid because of what it means for her career. And we've all been there where we've been told, hey, you can't have a kid because of your career.
60:00
You're going to sacrifice. And I got to that line. And I remember running. I ran 10-7. I think it was 10-7-5.
60:09
And I screamed. I was out of it. Right. I did a fist like I was strong. I remember going for my son who was in the stands and I brought him on the track and we were celebrating that moment together because I want my son to look back at those videos and understand that in that moment, I chose him. Hmm.
60:34
I'm walking alongside him. He didn't stop me from chasing my dreams.
60:40
He helped me to achieve that dream and to get in that moment and to understand our greatest comebacks are usually born from what people consider failures.
60:54
Because many persons thought I would just quit and go be a mom. But why can't I be both? Why can't I be a mom and be a sprinter and an excellent sprinter?
61:08
I think as women, we have to learn to be selfish. Mm-hmm. There's nothing wrong with wanting two things. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a mom and wanting to have the success of being an athlete. And that's why that medal is so important to me because I chose myself and I chose my son. And we're going to figure it out because balance is harmony. And we exist in the same space.
61:36
Well, I love that you said that...
61:40
The outside world has a lot to say about especially women and what your place is and when you're relevant, when you're not, what you can do, what you can't do. And also this messaging that if you choose to be two things or three things at the same time, that somehow it means you're going to be lousy at all of them.
62:04
I know. And why is that?
62:07
I honestly don't know because as you're really eloquently reminding us, you get to decide. I get to decide. You get to decide what it means to choose being a mom and being a sprinter at a world-renowned level. You get to decide that it is the most powerful example that you can provide to your son of what it looks like to go after something. Yes.
62:33
Yes.
62:34
And that by deciding for yourself, not listening to the outside world, not looking around the person here or the person over there, but right in here, what is it that I want? What are my standards? You change the game you're playing.
62:48
You change the game.
62:49
Yes.
62:49
And that's the important thing because guess what?
62:53
No, you leave an example for the next woman who is coming who decides, all right, I'm going to have my baby.
63:01
I can get back to sprinting or I can go run here. I can do that because Shelly I did it. So I can do it.
63:06
Yes. So the 2019 medal really proved, okay, you can be a mom and you can compete at a global level and win. Talk to me about the win in 2022. So this is a super cool looking medal. Yeah.
63:23
Yes, that's 2022. I was 35 years old.
63:27
Now, that seems young to me because I'm 57.
63:29
I think that's young, too.
63:31
Like you say that, like I'm like, do most sprinters...
63:34
In the truck world, as a woman... People think 28 is old. Really? Yeah. So you're like a grandma out there basically running.
63:43
I am a grandma at a sport. Okay. So 35 is like you should be retired kind of situation.
63:48
And usually a lot of female athletes at that age did retire. Okay. A lot of them did. Because for them, they feel like they had to ask for some, not all. Yep. For some, they felt like they needed to ask people permission to chase their dreams away. They felt like they needed somebody else's opinion on when it is that they should tap out. I needed nobody's permission but my own.
64:17
As I said before, I said, greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. There is absolutely no fear in love because perfect love casts out fear. I love what I do.
64:31
I don't fear it. I love it. There's a sense of boldness when I step to the line and when I'm chasing something. Because here's what's going to happen. It's mine.
64:41
I'm not taking anybody's spot. And if you want it, you have to come for it.
64:47
This is important to hear. If you want it, you have to come for it.
64:52
Yeah.
64:52
I would love to have you put us at the line. You're 35. Yeah, I'm 35. There are a lot of 20-year-olds in the line.
65:00
Well, you're not looking left or right is what I understand. Listen, I'm not looking left or right. And I get my age is very relevant at the line. Your age is irrelevant. Your age is irrelevant at the line. Your age is irrelevant at the line.
65:17
In success.
65:18
Irrelevant.
65:21
Nobody when you get to the line to win is thinking about your age.
65:28
nobody's thinking about your age. Except for the commentators.
65:31
Like, okay, so there is Shelly Ann. She's 35-year-old. No man, no woman has ever won a title at this age. Thank God you're not hearing it because they're like, okay, her nails look amazing and she's in the blocks and I know she's saying the prayer right now, but no man or woman has ever won at the age of 35. We're watching Shelly Ann. What's the over-under on this bet right now, right?
65:54
Yeah, but you're not hearing that. I'm not hearing. See, maybe the problem for a lot of people is they're listening to the announcers calling the play versus actually.
66:02
Your voice should be the loudest voice in the room, as I said earlier.
66:07
So what do you, other than the prayer, what do you say to yourself, though? Because you do know, geez, 15 years older than these people.
66:14
I'm saying to myself, my confidence comes from my work.
66:20
When I stand at the line to compete, I worked.
66:25
I trained hard. I sacrificed. When I get there, I'm ready. If you're going to beat me, you just have to beat me on the day.
66:33
I'm not afraid of anybody.
66:35
Right? Because what's the most that's going to happen? You're going to win or you're going to lose?
66:40
What's going to happen? Will the world end? No.
66:43
You'll get another chance.
66:45
And so what? I'm 35 is a fact. You can't change a fact. Why am I debating or arguing with people that state in fact? They said I'm 35. I am 35.
66:56
And? And what do you want me to do about it? I can't do anything about it. So when I get to the line, I'm not thinking about my age.
67:04
I'm thinking about the work. I'm thinking about the cues I'm telling myself. I'm thinking about the visualization. I'm thinking about my past wins because you have to rely because your past wins tell you in that moment what you can do.
67:20
Those are the experiences and things I'm telling myself when I get to the line. I'm telling myself low at the block.
67:27
I'm telling myself to drive. Powerful. Stay low. Get to 30. Relax upright. Hit the ground hard. Stay focused. Breathe. Swing. Get to the line. Don't panic.
67:42
You think the 100 meter is an hour. It's not. It's just 10 seconds. But the amount of things that you can tell yourself in that moment, I have no time to be thinking about the commentator or what anybody else is thinking.
67:58
Tell us about that win. Because that is like...
68:02
It was probably the happiest moment of my entire career. I was just on a high because I came in running a lot of 10.6s. So I was confident. I was there. I was ready. The atmosphere was good. It was in Eugene. And everybody knows that track town in Eugene is just crazy. They know what's happening. It's hot. And you know, as Jamaicans, we love the heat. And it's hot and we're there and I'm ready. And I'm like, listen...
68:28
My moment, you have to seize the moment. You can't let the moment be bigger than you. Okay, let's talk about that. What does that mean? For a lot of persons, they get to their moment and they start thinking, oh my God, the moment, and it overwhelms them till it stifles them.
68:47
It stifles their performance. The moment is the moment. You're there, but you are the moment.
68:54
And you have to understand that you are the moment. The moment is the moment. It is what it is. It's not going to change. Everybody knows it's a world championship. Everybody knows you're trying to chase a gold medal. But you can't let that moment be your moment. You are the moment. What you bring to the table is your moment. The work that you did a couple of months before you got there, it's your moment. That's what is important. So I wasn't going to be stifled by the lights because a lot of persons, they're crippled by the lights.
69:28
The light is the light.
69:30
I can't move it.
69:32
I can't move the stands. I can't move the crowd. But what I can do is tune them out. They're not going to help me. I hear you.
69:39
When they call my name and they say lane five, Shelly and Fraser from Jamaica, Shelly and Fraser Prize, I go, yay, and I'm locked in.
69:48
You have to learn to be locked in, to ignore the lights because the lights won't change unless...
69:56
It suddenly goes dark. It won't change. So I get to the line. I'm happy. I'm ready.
70:03
I am just focused on all the races that I've executed before. That's why important that you remember at any moment, go back to the moments you win. When days are hard, go back to the moments that you have won. Rely on those moments because those moments are going to help you. Those moments are going to help you be confident.
70:27
So did you have to put a little padding under your big toe?
70:29
I'm going to say this. In 2022, in 2017, when I had my son, my toe got 80% better. I was scheduled to do a surgery in January of 2018 on my toe until I found out I was pregnant. And I'm glad that that happened because here's why. If I had done the surgery, there would be no power in my toe.
70:58
It would be almost like putty or, you know, glue.
71:03
Because those two bones are responsible for power. If you remove them, there's nothing there. So you get no power from driving out the blocks.
71:15
So maybe, so when I say my son saved my career, I mean it with my entire being. Because I took the time off, I got the rest, I was able to recoup. And I'm going to also say this is important. Rest and recovery is just as important as the training.
71:37
Nobody shows up and win on an empty tank.
71:42
You have to be refueled and that's why rest and recovery is also very important.
71:49
What would you say to the person who is looking at a goal?
71:55
Maybe they've leaned in a little as they're listening and they're, okay, I'm going to decide.
72:00
I'm going to decide. I'm going to launch that business. I'm going to find love after divorce. I'm going to go back to school in my 50s. I'm going to go to college. But nobody in my family has gone to college. And then that doubt starts to creep in and you start saying to yourself, I can't do that. No one's ever accomplished that.
72:25
Almost like you become the commentator doubting yourself.
72:32
Stop entertaining the voices in your head that tell you to play small. You have to stop entertaining those voices. The voices that say, oh girl, it's too big for you.
72:43
Girl, no, it's not worth it. Leave that one alone. We can't go for the next one. And they tell you the next one. So you have to Stop entertaining the voices in your head that tell you to play small. And also stop negotiating your mornings. What do you mean? So when you get up in the morning, you decide, all right, I'm going to attack the goal. You start to negotiate. Oh, maybe I'll do it next year. Oh, maybe I'll do it next week. Oh, can I just put it off today and do it tomorrow? No. Stop negotiating.
73:14
Just do it. Literally. Get up, decide, and commit. Okay.
73:20
You have to commit.
73:21
So that voice in your head that's telling you, oh girl, this is too big. I can't do it.
73:30
Everything changes downstream when things upstream are done right.
73:37
Say it again. Everything changes downstream when upstream is done right. So up here, your mind changes.
73:48
When you start thinking and stop negotiating and stop listening to that small voice that tells you, okay, you can't do it. It's too big. It's impossible.
73:59
It converts.
74:00
Yes.
74:00
But when you start telling yourself, this is mine. I'm ready.
74:07
I'm gifted. I have purpose.
74:11
It's going to work out. I'm strong. I'm powerful.
74:14
It trickles down. Hmm.
74:17
And everywhere in your body starts to respond to what you're telling yourself in your mind. So you have to start saying to yourself, I can. I will. I must.
74:31
This is mine. I'm ready.
74:34
I'm fit. I'm focused.
74:36
This will all work out.
74:39
This is just a small hiccup. I have this. You got this. That's how you need to start negotiating. In the mornings.
74:47
Oh.
74:49
You know, one of the things about you that you've really had to deal with in your career is pressure and managing pressure and showing up under pressure and not allowing the pressure to break you. And right now, I know that the person listening probably feels a lot of pressure. You know, when we asked listeners in 194 countries basically how they're feeling right now, what they're struggling with, what their goals are, the number one word that we heard was actually exhausted.
75:24
And exhaustion comes because you feel a lot of pressure. You know what I'm saying? And so if the person's dealing with pressure at work or pressure in their relationship or pressure financially, how do you handle pressure in your life?
75:41
Pressure is a privilege. It means you're made for more.
75:45
It means that someone believes in you. Somebody thinks that you have more to give than including yourself. So pressure is a privilege.
75:56
I'll leave a Jamaican saying where it says nobody stones green mangoes.
76:01
Nobody stones green mangoes.
76:06
They're not ripe. Exactly. So look at it that way. Because you feel that pressure, it means that you have a gift. You have something that's waiting to come out. So you're feeling that pressure. And the only reason why sometimes you feel that pressure or that pressure expands is because you are living in the past and the future at the same time.
76:30
You can't go back to tomorrow. There's nothing there.
76:35
You have to compete where your feet are.
76:39
Wherever you stand is where you compete. You cannot allow yourself to be in a moment where you're thinking about the past, then you're thinking about the future. Your brain doesn't know what's happening. You're stifling your brain.
76:55
The past, the things or the mistakes or whatever it is that have happened before, that pressure expands when you feel like you're trying to control what already happened. It's gone.
77:08
So you need to now look at the future and how you do things like that is be intentional.
77:15
You have to learn to breathe.
77:19
Center yourself. Find your center. Go back to your why.
77:25
Go back to the reason you started because those are the things you can control. You can't control what anybody else is saying or what happened a year ago or seven months ago. You can't control that. So why are you there? Why are you living there?
77:42
It's gone.
77:44
You know what's coming?
77:46
The future. And you have to prepare for that.
77:49
So you can't add any pressure to yourself by living in the past and the future at the same time. That's when you're going to be feeling pressure. But look at pressure as a privilege. It means that you have something. You have a gift. You have more. Because nobody who is chasing nothing, I've never heard anybody say that's doing anything that says, or absolutely nothing says, I feel pressured.
78:15
Have you ever heard it? If somebody sits in this room, Doing nothing every day, just doing nothing. They can't feel pressured. Are you doing anything to feel pressured? No.
78:26
But for the person who's chasing something and wants to start something and that person who sits, you know, in their room or in their car who knows that, listen, I have this gift. I have this purpose and I want it to be realized. But you are the one that's holding yourself back. That's the pressure. You have to get rid of it.
78:49
I needed you in 2008. I know you were busy winning gold medals.
78:54
But in 2008, I was under such devastating financial pressure. And...
79:03
What you just laid out explains why I was stuck for so long.
79:08
Because when you cannot put food on the table or gas in the tank of the car and you have three kids and leans on the house and you're pissed off at your husband and you've lost your job, you spend a lot of time thinking about all the mistakes in the past. which makes the financial pressure in the moment bigger. And you said you have to stop looking backwards. You've got to compete where your feet are, and you've got to look to the future. And what's interesting is I suffered, and I just— Oh, my God.
79:44
I was I said I was about to say I verbally abused my husband for a year because I was so scared and angry that all I did was scream at that poor man.
79:54
And it wasn't until I did the first thing you told us to in this conversation today.
80:01
I decided. I decided that I needed to make a change. I decided that I needed to stop looking around at everybody else and I needed to stop looking at my husband to fix this. And I decided my purpose was to...
80:19
Make money. My purpose was to save the house. My purpose was to figure out how the heck we were going to pay off this debt. And once I decided and I locked into a future where I felt like I could be proud of myself and I could pay my bills, now I have a race to run. Now you have a race to run. And the second you do that, yeah, the pressure's still there, but it feels...
80:45
It feels like it almost is behind you, pushing you versus pressure around you. Yes. Consuming you.
80:54
Consuming, just pressing in and you feel like you're being stifled. Yes. But that pressure behind you is a fuel. Yes. That pressure behind you becomes a push. Yes. Because that pressure tells you that, okay, I'm on the right path.
81:10
And somebody, somewhere, whether it's the kids, believes in me. And it's depending on me to get there. They see more in me. They see a future with me. Yes. And then you start to understand that, okay, I'm on the right path. Pressure is good.
81:27
When it's behind you.
81:28
I didn't like it when it was in my face. When it's behind you. But that pressure can expand if you're fighting two wars.
81:36
One in the past and one in the future. I don't want to fight the one in the past because you can't go back.
81:42
It's gone. You can learn from it.
81:46
But it's gone. And there are a lot of persons who are stuck where they are because they are still feeling that pressure from past mistakes, past failures, past relationships. They're still there.
82:04
But you're not there. You're already here in the future. So you have to compete here. You can't go back there.
82:13
And right here, when we get to the line, the starting line, that's where we compete there.
82:19
Oh, my God. Do you know how many people, and I would put myself in this bucket, spend so much of their lives rerunning races they lost in the past?
82:30
Running, running, running, running, running, running. And you can't get it back.
82:35
Versus understanding there's a new race to run. There's a new line to step up to.
82:39
Every day there's a new race.
82:42
Every day you just have to show up for it.
82:45
Every day there is a new race. You have to show up for it.
82:51
Shellyann, if the person listening takes just one action... Out of all of the wisdom that you've poured into us, as soon as you're done listening to this, what do you think the most important thing to do is?
83:07
I think the most important thing to do, Mel, is what you said earlier. Decide.
83:12
You have to decide because we can. And in that decision, the reason why we are here and you are here is because you're still seeking.
83:22
You're still listening because you're still seeking. You still want something. So you have to decide and commit to your greatest life. Yet you have to decide. You can listen to everything. You can write down everything and you can have the vision board and you can have the book that you're writing your goals. But until you make that decision to start or to do something different, you're wasting time you're wasting time you have to decide There's just no two way about it.
83:59
There are a lot of persons who are sitting at home and they have written down that business plan and I'm going to start this business. I'm going to do this. I'm going to end this friendship or this relationship that's not going anywhere. It's eating me. And they have yet to make the decision or fully. A lot of them make half decision. I'm going to do it tomorrow. I'm going to do it next year.
84:23
Decide now. Commit now.
84:28
Chelleanne, what are your parting words?
84:30
My parting words would have to be, you and I, we're not built for average.
84:38
We're built for extraordinary.
84:42
Extraordinary things.
84:44
I've said earlier, you have to be and become extraordinary.
84:50
Extraordinary now and extraordinary to come.
84:54
So all those things that you have told yourself, the unhealthy things that you have told yourself, before get rid of it.
85:02
We're not made to play small. You have to expand your mind, expand your territory. You have to see yourself being big, not average, not small, but big. Somebody who have more, a lot more untapped potential that's waiting to expand. And I... And not only me, but you have to give yourself permission. You have to give yourself permission to chase the dream.
85:33
You have to give yourself permission to understand that you carry excellence.
85:40
You carry, we all carry because we are created with it.
85:44
We have purpose. We have plans. We have all of it. And you have to mold those things together and create a life that is extraordinary.
85:55
Shellyann, you are extraordinary. Thank you. You literally blew me away. And there's something about being in your presence that I just want to sprint out of here. I don't even really know where I'm going right now, but I just feel like, okay, let's run a race. Let's go. Let's win.
86:12
Let's win. Let's win. No, thank you. Thank you.
86:16
Thank you for being you, for taking the time to come here and to pour into me and to the person that
86:24
That is listening.
86:25
I know this conversation is going to ripple around the world and is going to be shared in family group chats and among friends and coaches are going to send it to teams. You are such a gift.
86:39
Thank you. I appreciate that, Mel. This was great.
86:42
Thank you. Well, you're great.
86:43
Thank you.
86:44
And I also want to thank you. As you heard Shelley Ann say to you, you are not average. You are extraordinary. And everything that she poured into you, you can feel it in your bones. Even those two little bones in your big toe, you could feel it. That she believes in you. She believes you're extraordinary, but you got to decide. You got the tools and the encouragement and the roadmap today. For crying out loud, decide to do something with it.
87:16
Step up to the line and run that race. And in case no one else tells you today, as your friend, I am going to tell you that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life. Just follow everything you just heard and you will build an extraordinary one. All right, I'll see you in the very next episode. I'll welcome you in the moment you hit play.
87:42
But you are standing at the edge of something.
87:46
But you are standing at the edge. Hold on. And she's going to tell you from the very first word she say.
87:53
Every time the world said, it can.
87:56
And today, she is here to tell you how to stop negative, to teach you, to... At the 2024 Paris Olympics, Nike honored... At the 2024...
88:11
Because what Shellyann is teaching you about how she deals with pressure. Oh, wait. Oh, because I'm like Shellyann today to be your personal coach.
88:24
Oh, my.
88:27
Oh, my. How do you feel? I feel good. Good?
88:30
I feel great.
88:31
Good.
88:37
I'm so excited to bring you this segment sponsored by our friends at Verizon. And I'm especially excited to help make your life just a little bit easier today. Because for 12 years, that's how long I've been a customer. Verizon's been doing exactly that for me and my family, making life easier. The all-new Simplicity Plan is just one plan. One price, $30 a line per month, even for a single line. And everyone gets their best 5G network. So you can cut down on the noise and get a great price on a great network.
89:10
And while we're at it, talking about simplicity, I want to share another way that you can simplify your life right now. You know when you have a bunch of things that are just kind of weighing on you, you need to take care of them? Let me think of an example because I got a lot right now. Let's say you got to find a new doctor. And so what do you do? You're calling all the doctors in your area. You're calling their offices. You're on hold. You got your health insurance. You're trying to figure out who's accepting patients, who accepts your health insurance.
89:42
When can you get in? Sometime in the next year.
89:45
And then all of a sudden, oh my gosh, the day is over.
89:49
And you still haven't accomplished a single thing. And you probably don't even have the doctor's appointment made yet. Now, I don't know about you, but most of the time when I'm really overwhelmed, what's funny is the thing that's draining me, it's not some big thing. It's all these little things.
90:09
And you know what? If you're feeling overwhelmed right now, I want you to consider something. Maybe you're doing too much. Maybe you're not lazy or incapable or overwhelmed. Maybe you're just trying to do too much. Hear me out for a sec. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or I start to get analysis paralysis, it's never the big things. It's that all these little things have stacked up and I start to feel like I need to do every little thing right now and then I end up doing nothing.
90:40
That subscription that I keep meaning to cancel and then, oh my God, I just got charged again or 53 emails in the inbox and they just keep climbing. The smoke detector battery that keeps beeping and the taillight on the car that's been out for months. The messy desk. Oh my God, the thank you note I've been meaning to send. The little things are always hanging over you. And get this, there's real science that explains this feeling. A psychologist named Richard Lazarus at UC Berkeley wanted to know what was really weighing on people's mental health.
91:11
Is it the big stuff like moving out of state or breaking up with your partner or getting laid off at a job or trying to find a new one? Or was it something else? Well, it turns out based on the research, it's the little things that build up that are constantly dragging on you because you feel like you have to do them all. You don't. You don't have to fix 50 things today. You don't have to fix 10. There's only one thing you need to do right now. pick up a pen and do a brain dump.
91:42
Write it down. Every little thing, the package you have to return, the birthday present to buy, the laundry piling up, the yard work, the plumber, the doctor's appointment you need to make. Oh my gosh, a brain dump is the one thing you need to do right now because writing all these things down, oh my God, it feels so Good, because when these little things no longer live in your head, they no longer weigh you down. Let them live on paper. Simple, the one thing you need to do today. In fact, I've been doing them nonstop. Here's my brain dump on houseless.
92:14
Okay, I gotta gut the closet that the cat peed in. I've gotta, I don't even know what that thing is. Oh, here's one on things to buy. Here's another one, things to organize, financial apps. No wonder things have felt so heavy. No wonder I think about everything, but I do nothing. Simple. Do a brain dump. Instead of doing everything, do one thing.
92:35
Write it all down.
92:37
Then tell yourself this.
92:39
Nothing on this list is an emergency.
92:43
So you're just going to chip away at it.
92:45
That's one little thing you can do to make your life simple again.
92:51
Because you were never incapable or overwhelmed or lazy.
92:55
You, my friend, were just trying to do too much.
92:59
I want to thank Verizon again for sponsoring this segment. Verizon's got the perfect phone plan to help you cut down on all those little stressors in your life. The all-new Simplicity Plan is just one plan, one price, $30 per month, even for a single line. And everyone gets their best 5G network. Simple is the new standard. Switch today at Verizon.com or your nearest store. For new customers, $30 per line includes auto pay and switch and save discount.
93:30
Additional taxes, fees, and terms apply. Unlimited data is restricted to on-device smartphone usage, domestic data roaming at 2G speeds.
93:38
Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend, I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.
94:13
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